Me, My Breasts, and I

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Writing about breasts is such a cheap way to get attention. Adding a cleavage shot of an attractive woman is also pretty low. Sorry, boys and girls, this post is about mammograms, so you might want to exit right now. I hope you’ll stay around though, because you may learn something.

I will also say up front that everything turned out okay. I’m not into suspense (in my blog, anyway), and I was too happy about the final results to be anything but positive as I write this. I like happy endings, most especially in my life.

At my age, I’ve been having annual mammograms for a few years. While not pleasant by any means, it is not a horrible experience. This may be the one area of medicine that has the process down right.  Until this week, I’ve never spent more than 15 minutes total at the office having my mammogram. Yes, I said total.

Here’s how it goes down:  You walk in, sign in at the front desk. The receptionist hands you a couple papers to sign, they slip a hospital bracelet around your wrist. Then, they either ask you to have a seat (which is never for more than two minutes), or they take you directly back to the dressing room. Here you take off your top and bra, slip on the gown and take a seat. Another two minute wait. Your technician comes in, escorts you to the room, takes the images, which is the only uncomfortable part of the process (duh), but also only takes a few minutes. You are then escorted back to the dressing room, you change and you’re done. Hopefully for another year. Barely time to pick up a magazine.

This year, it started the same as always (except I missed my first appointment due to a migraine). Even though I didn’t call until after my scheduled time, they rescheduled for a week later without a problem. I did make it to my second appointment, and everything went as above. I am told that they will write or call regarding the results, and off I go.

Jump ahead five days. When I came into work last Tuesday, my assistant told me that the breast people had called (actually, it’s called the Schnitzer/Novack Breast Center and that’s what she said). I figured that a call meant good news, supposing that they would leave bad news up to your doctor to report. Silly me.

When I called back, a nice woman with a strong Southern accent (y’all), told me that my left breast had some asymmetry, and that I needed to come back in, have another mammogram (left side only), and if necessary they would follow that up immediately with an ultrasound. Feeling a little numb, my main question was if I would be okay with my insurance company. She said no problem, that was taken care of and all I needed to do was bring in “the girls.” Really, she said that. She also told me that the radiologist would immediately read the images, then determine if I needed an ultrasound. Following that I would be informed of the results, so that by the time I left, I would know as much as they did.

Of course, immediately after I hung up the phone, I hit up Google. What I read both comforted and disturbed me. “Asymmetric breast tissue is reported in about 3% of mammograms and is almost always benign.” (comfort) “Asymmetric breast tissue is one of the most difficult mammographic findings to evaluate.” (disturb)

It seems, “breasts appear to be relatively symmetrical in their distribution of fibroglandular tissue. For this reason, mammograms should be viewed so that the right and left breasts can be compared back-to-back on the viewbox. Minor asymmetries in the distribution of fibroglandular tissue between the two breasts are a common normal variant, but moderate asymmetry may warrant further investigation. Further study of a suspicious asymmetric density should include a correlative clinical breast examination (with careful palpation of the area of concern). Depending on the degree of suspicion, follow-up steps might include additional mammographic views, an ultrasound scan, or 6-month follow-up mammography. When asymmetry is associated with architectural distortion, calcifications, or an underlying mass, the probability of malignancy is greater and a biopsy should be considered.” The paragraph the above quote was taken from was titled “Indirect Signs of Malignancy.”  DISTURB!

Overall, though, the information indicated that this was not too uncommon and most likely was a result of positioning during the mammogram. As the radiologist told me when I returned, it can happen if your breast is slightly twisted during the process and that shows up as an asymmetry in the image.

I had two days to wait until my appointment. I really didn’t spend too much time fretting, although, when I did think about it I’d get a little quiver in my stomach. Finally, Thursday afternoon came. For the last two years, standard, annual mammograms are done at a satellite facility. This time, though, I was headed to the Lucy Curci Cancer Center, which is on the Eisenhower Medical Center campus, and, conveniently right across the street from my work. When I arrived, I was checked right in and escorted to the dressing room by a lovely 89 year old volunteer (who told me she was slightly embarrassed because she was a little shaky that day and needed to use her cane).

This time, they only had to scan my left breast, so it was over quickly. She then took the pictures to the radiologist, while I went to the waiting room. A few minutes later, she was back. They decided to do the ultrasound, so I was escorted to another room. After the technician completed the ultrasound, she brought in the radiologist so that he could check as well. I watched the screen the whole time, but all I could see were the faces that the scan seemed to form in the ultrasound (like clouds). Not much help, especially since they seemed to be scary faces.

As soon as he was done, though, the radiologist delivered the happy news:  No problems, whatsoever! In fact, I don’t need a follow up and can wait the full year until my next appointment. I really didn’t realize how scared I had been until I felt the relief following his report.

Two lessons that I hope you will all take from my experience:

#1 No matter what your age, start doing your self exams and have the recommended check-ups.

#2 Don’t get your titties in a twist.