It’s all black and white

Nothing is black and white. Everything is black and white. As I write this I’m not sure it will ever see the light of day. I have spent the weekend so troubled that I haven’t been able to move. That’s figurative,  of course,  but I have found myself sitting in front of my Facebook feed alternatively crying, angry, and just plain despairing. I hope that by writing some of this down I can find some clarity, create some order out of events that make no sense and have no order.

The events of the past few days, weeks, months are horrible and terrifying. I wish I was a more eloquent writer so that I could capture the emotions that I feel. My heart breaks for the families of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile and others who have tragically been killed at the hands of police, as well as for those of the officers who were horrifically gunned down in Dallas.

What has left me frozen has been the divisiveness on social media in general and on my Facebook feed in particular. People I call friends (though I know on Facebook that doesn’t really mean a lot) choosing sides, calling names, passing judgement. To many of them, everything is black and white. No shades of gray.

While as a white woman I can never begin to understand what it is like to be a black person in this country, I can understand and empathize with anger and loss. I can see the racism in statements like, “well they shouldn’t resist,” or “if you break the law you get what you ask for.” As if the penalty for resisting or selling a few CDs should be death. As if an African American man should have to be a “good little black man” so that he doesn’t get killed!

Yes, I support the police. I have friends who are police officers. They put their lives on the line every moment of every day. Most are honorable men and women who live with the possibility of their own death all the time. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t bad cops out there. And to say otherwise is to totally depart from reality.

Remember that old statement, “America, love it or leave it”? When people said that, they were telling protestors that they should shut up and leave if they weren’t happy with things the way they were. But how do things get better if we don’t try to change them? I love my country, even if I disagree with some of what goes on. I honor and respect police officers while still wanting to weed out the bad ones.

If you’ve been paying attention at all this week, you’ve seen people saying, with emphasis, “all lives matter.” Of course, this is in response to the Black Lives Matter movement. Apparently, some people believe that by saying black lives matter, we are saying that no other lives matter. Not true. If you say, about your oldest child, “I love my oldest son,” does that mean you don’t love the others?

Of course, all lives matter! Whatever color, race, gender, sexual orientation, all lives have meaning and importance. But think about it. In the light of so many senseless deaths of black men and the reaction of so many of the people who blame them for their own deaths, in the face of prejudice and fear, can you not understand that it is important to remember that black lives matter too?

I don’t usually engage with people with whom I disagree on Facebook (or anywhere else, really). It’s not my style. I was compelled once or twice over the weekend to add my two cents simply because I felt I couldn’t keep quiet. That is why I (think) I’ll be publishing this. The time to be quiet is over. While I don’t think that arguing on Facebook will make any changes, speaking out, trying to clarify, making people think, just might. At least I hope so.